April was a hard month.
Especially since my Autism Epiphany, which led me to a much better understanding of why I’d spent a majority of my adult life in a state of steamrollered-flat exhaustion, I have been doing much better at ‘parcelling out my spoons’ to avoid extremes of stress and burnout. With that firmly in mind, I had planned for and committed to a certain amount of deadline-based work to be accomplished during the month of April.
And then suddenly, like a giant April Fool’s prank from the universe, I found myself also in charge of a complex, urgent, stressful, and sometimes infuriating mess not of my own making. This right on the heels of a stormy interpersonal interaction in late March that — although necessary for the sake of an important relationship — left me physically drained for days and emotionally drained for a couple of weeks.
(I’m being cryptic and vague about all of this because I never have the faintest idea when other people are going to consider something I say a violation of their privacy. This disconnect has tripped me up many times throughout my life; now that I understand it’s an autistic thing, I’m trying to compensate by erring on the side of caution.)
But April is over, and I successfully hit all my deadlines (woohoo!); while there is still plenty of mess to handle over the next few months, the level of urgency is reduced enough that I can get back to working part-time on my novel, a great relief. Being forced to completely ignore it for five straight weeks had left me struggling with depression and despair, antidepressants notwithstanding.
One thing that I did not manage to mention here in all the chaos (although I did make note in my newsletter) is that an audio interview I did in March went live on the SquarePeg podcast, which does spotlight interviews with adult women and nonbinary people about their autistic life experiences. If interested, you can read more details and access the audio at the link above, or through any podcast app.
Now to catch up on some personal correspondence, and then: novel!